Fathering and mothering is not parenting. .This is a serious issue, and please get me right with a serious mind that is sober. It’s not an attack on you because I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you, but I believe you and I can learn something out of it.
I have a Malawian family in mind. Both well to do and wanting family. As parents, we all have the feeling of providing for our children. Everything being equal, I know most of the parents would have bought the world for their children. In as much as Christian parents teach their children not to love the world, but believe you me, it’s a sermon not real life. We all need our children to grow where they don’t lack anything, and if the world is an answer to that, men in white collar would probably be the very first ones to make the provision.
However, I like the religious idea that makes religious parents the best in theory parenting. Yes, you got me right. Theory parenting. I give you the mandate to describe that. Most homes have DOs and DONTs for their children. Usually, the don’ts usually rotates in character building and behavioral management of the child. So as parents we focus on language, respect, eating manners, praying and friendliness, just to mention a few. Very few parents go an extra mile to dive into what really builds up the character of a child.
In Malawi, we are so comfortable putting our toddlers in front of TV, telling ourselves that cartoons are suitable for kids. We use it as a sit down tool, and once that favorite cartoon is in, we can comfortably go and finish our unfinished businesses in the kitchen, office and of course bedroom. When we take our kids out for shopping, we rush into buying the kids toy guns, and all sort of toys without giving it a second thought.
Come to think of it in this way. Yes, you will call me a critic, but I implore you to think it over a great deal before you judge. At the age of two, your child knows what a gun is. Your child has known more of magic scenes from Disney cartoons. At the age of three, your child can tell you that he will “shoot” you and he points that toy gun at you. At the age of five, your girl child can tell you that she kissed a boy at school. At the age of six, your girl child can fight other girls over a handsome boy at school. As a parent is all you can do is threaten your child or maybe sometimes do a little beating?
Your child only touches a book when he or she is at school. Given home work, you as a parent do it all by yourself and your child only copies it in his/her handwriting. They call you the best dad in the world. Well, maybe you are, but until you are gone, they will realize you have been the worst monster ever.
With all this, what type of a Malawi do we expect to have tomorrow? Aren’t we parenting the future thugs. Why do we enjoy it when our son comes home with his pants down, and we proudly commend him calling a him “yoo!” nigger”
The daughter comes in with breast fully exposed, and you welcome her with a broad smile calling “My Little Slay Queen.”