Of Hon Kamlepo Kalua and the Condom Analogy: Malawi road to 2019

I was at Marine College in Monkey-bay by then. One day I was buying some stuff in the PTC shop next to the College. I was standing on the queue and in-front of me was a highly decorated man; the Captain of Ilala ship. This was the man we students respected very much. He was a highly talked captain at Lake Malawi Services by then. Suddenly, the Captain ushered me to the front of the queue. I was very surprised and felt humbled. I paid for my stuff and quickly walked out. It was later I learnt from one of the till ladies that the Captain ushered me to the front because he wanted to purchase a packet of condoms.

Most men would agree with me that buying a condom in a public shop such as Shoprite or PTC is a hassle. The item is essential but it is hard to buy; the imagery you create in the heads of the ladies at the counter gives most men a headache. That you can buy the item to use in your family most people give that a benefit of doubt. The ladies at the counter look at you and wondered how an innocent man like you could be cheating your wife. That is the nightmare of buying a condom, yet this is the analogy that the Hon. Kamlepo Kalua used in his argument that some people are using northerners as a condom.

Ladies and gentlemen of all the items that Kamlepo would have used why did he chose a condom? It baffles me! This is a very poor analogy to me. Why not use a hoe, ladders? It takes two people to use a condom whether it is a man and a man or a man and a woman so which two people are using northerners as a condom? A condom is an inanimate object, it does not have free-will. It is used by two people and it does not benefit from the act, are you really honest Hon. Kalua that this is a true picture of how northerners are used? In 2014 northerners overwhelmingly voted Joyce Banda. This is the presidential candidate who did not see the importance of taking part in the presidential debates, the presidential candidate who was at the helm of cashgate, yet she won big in the north. The reason why northerners voted her was because she was married to one of their sons. Is this not free-will? Who used the northerners to vote Joyce Banda?

The northerners massively voted Mutharika at the expense of Chakwera. The reason was that he promised them to ease the quota system by building Mombera University. Would you then say they were used as a condom when they had a free-will. If you finish using a condom you discard it, if northerners are used as a condom why then do we have DPP supporters in the north? Why do we have DPP regional governors in the north; have they been discarded?

Please Hon. Kalua stop playing this tribal card, it is a catalyst for tribal conflict. Please next time use a better analogy to stress your point. No-one uses northerners as a condom. There are some northerners who are enjoying in the DPP government just as you enjoyed with the PP government. Northerners are people with a free-will, they are therefore not equal to a condom.